a mess, but I'm weirdly okay with it. Flunked an interview I thought I had in the bag. My job's this weird limbo where I'm trying not to get fired while pretending I care. I tell myself I'm working on "self-improvement," but it's mostly just doomscrolling and overthinking.Got ghosted by someone I thought I clicked with. Classic. Honestly, I don't even try anymore. Dating feels like this impossible game everyone else knows the cheat codes to. I look at couples and wonder what it's like to just.. have that. Never had a real relationship. Never had a proper "first" anything. At this point, I feel like I'm just watching life happen to other people.
Trying to read some self-help crap, something about "manifesting" or whatever. Pretend you're already living the life you want, and it'll magically happen. Yeah, okay. But I keep reading because it's better than facing the nothingness I feel most days.
I've gotten way too comfortable with being alone. Some days I think that's freedom, and other days it just feels like I'm disappearing.
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